Staying connected after a loss

After the loss of a loved one, there is so much to do and adjust to that it can be easy to lose touch with family and friends who are vital to us. We can get caught up in our grief and all the changes that are happening to us, and might find it hard to relate to the lives of our friends and those who haven't suffered our loss. Perhaps we feel like our friends and family should be reaching out to us instead of the other way around. However it happens, this distance can cause us to feel like we’ve lost most than just the person who died.

While many people may have reached out to you immediately following your loss, as time goes by it can be hard for them to know how to talk to you, or whether it is okay to share their own struggles while you are having such a hard time. This can make it them reluctant to reach out to you as they once did. They might also just be giving you space and time to heal.

In the first days, weeks and perhaps months following your loss, you may struggle to even want to be with other people. It can be hard to see others living "normal" lives when you are in so much pain. Be kind to yourself and don't push yourself back into the social sphere too soon. It might be best to start small, like a phone call to a close friend, or a quick meet-up for coffee or ice cream. Here are some other ideas for staying connected:

Utilizing technology - Social media has made it easier than ever to stay in touch. You can stay connected by sending a private message, updating your status or posting a few photos. You might feel energized for a few hours or minutes to reach out to others and then want to retreat for a while. Technology allows you to do this as well, simply by closing programs and turning off notifications. Calendar reminders are also great ways to help you remember to reach out to people.

Starting slow - Maybe you need to start slowly after losing a loved one. By planning a monthly event such as a dinner to see your friends or family, you can stay in touch without overcrowding anyone’s schedule or pushing yourself beyond your new limits.

Plan for important dates – Birthdays, anniversaries and holidays can be hard to celebrate after a loss. While you might feel pressure to keep up traditions, it is okay to take a break from these things, or mark the occasions in a simplified way. Be honest with family members or those you normally celebrate with that this year needs to be a little different for you. It is good to think through these important dates a bit ahead of time so you can communicate your wishes and plans with others.

Create lists - You may need to create a list of people to remember to stay in touch with. During the grieving process, it can be challenging to remember every person in your life. By making a list, you know who to check in with every once and awhile.

Ask for check-ins – If you are the kind of person who tends to retreat inside yourself in times of pain or stress, maybe you need someone to check in with you periodically. Ask a trusted friend or family member to reach out to you once a week or so if they haven’t heard from you. It’s okay to ask for help with this.

While it can be an effort to stay connected to others while you are working through the loss of a loved one, it can have many benefits. Staying connected allows you to receive support and care from others that you need in this hard time. It can also help you step out of your grief for a few moments and catch up on the lives of those you care about.

July 24, 2025
Attending a funeral or memorial service can stir up many emotions, and for some, one of the first questions that comes to mind is: What should I wear? While traditions around funeral attire have evolved, dressing appropriately remains a way to show respect—for the person who has passed and for their loved ones. Whether the service is formal, casual, religious, or a celebration of life, here are a few thoughtful guidelines to help you choose what to wear. 1. Stick to Neutral, Conservative Colors Black is the traditional color of mourning in many cultures, but it's not your only option. Other respectful colors include navy, gray, deep green, brown, and muted tones. Avoid bright colors, loud patterns, or anything that draws unnecessary attention unless the family has requested otherwise. Tip: Some services may invite guests to wear the deceased’s favorite color or dress casually—check the obituary or invitation for guidance. 2. Dress Modestly and Neatly Funeral services are somber occasions, so choose clothing that is clean, pressed, and conservative: For women, options include a modest dress, blouse with slacks, or a skirt paired with a cardigan or blazer. For men, a dress shirt with slacks, a suit, or a sport coat with a tie is appropriate. 3. Footwear Matters, Too Choose closed-toe shoes that are comfortable, especially if you'll be standing or walking at a graveside service. Simple dress shoes, loafers, or flats work well. Avoid athletic sneakers or flip-flops unless the service is explicitly casual or outdoors. 4. Consider the Location and Weather The setting of the service can influence your outfit: For outdoor or graveside services, wear weather-appropriate clothing and shoes that can handle grass or gravel. Bring an umbrella or coat if needed. Dark outerwear is always a safe choice. In a place of worship, modest attire is often expected regardless of the season. 5. Keep Accessories Simple This is not the time for flashy jewelry or bold accessories. Choose understated items that won’t distract from the purpose of the gathering. 6. What About Children? Children should also be dressed neatly and conservatively. Simple outfits in neutral colors are best. If unsure, dress them as if attending a formal family event or church service. 7. When in Doubt, Dress Up a Bit It’s always better to be slightly overdressed than too casual at a funeral. If you’re unsure about the dress code, err on the side of formality. A respectful appearance helps convey sympathy and support. What you wear to a funeral doesn’t need to be fancy or expensive—but it should reflect care, humility, and consideration. Remember: your presence is what matters most
July 14, 2025
Planning a funeral or cremation—whether for a loved one or preplanning for yourself—can feel overwhelming. There are many decisions to make, all while navigating the emotions that come with loss. But with a little preparation and guidance, the process can be meaningful, healing, and manageable. Whether you're planning ahead or handling arrangements after a loss, this guide walks you through the key steps of planning a funeral or cremation service. 1. Decide Between Burial and Cremation One of the first decisions to make is whether the individual will be buried or cremated. This choice often depends on personal, cultural, or religious preferences. Burial typically involves a casket, a graveside service, and a cemetery plot. Cremation may still include a funeral or memorial service and allows for more flexible options such as scattering, keeping an urn, or burying cremated remains. Some families choose direct cremation (without a service) or direct burial and hold a memorial at a later time. 2. Decide on the Type of Service There are many ways to honor a life, including: Traditional funeral service (usually with the body present) Memorial service (typically after cremation or burial) Celebration of life (a more personalized, informal event) Services can take place at the funeral home, a place of worship or outdoors. Choose what best reflects the person’s life and what brings comfort to those attending. 3. Select the Details You’ll want to personalize the service with details such as: Obituary and newspaper or online notices Casket or urn selection Music, readings, or spiritual elements Photos, videos, or displays of personal items Flowers or charitable donation options Who will speak, perform, or participate Many families also choose to include military honors, religious traditions, or cultural customs. 4. Consider Final Resting Place Options For burials: Choose a cemetery and purchase a plot if one isn’t already owned Decide on a headstone or grave marker For cremation: Decide whether ashes will be kept, scattered, buried, or placed in a niche Some families divide ashes among keepsake urns or jewelry 5. Handle Legal and Practical Matters Don’t forget the necessary paperwork: Obtain a death certificate (you may need multiple copies) Notify Social Security and financial institutions Handle wills, trusts, and estate matters If applicable, coordinate with veterans’ services or insurance providers Funeral directors can help guide you through most of this, but having documents organized in advance can ease the burden. 6. Consider Preplanning Preplanning your own arrangements relieves your loved ones of decision-making during an emotional time. You can: Specify burial or cremation preferences Choose the type of service and location Prepay or set aside funds Record personal touches you’d like included Preplanning ensures your wishes are followed—and it brings peace of mind to everyone involved. While planning a funeral or cremation is never easy, it is an opportunity to reflect, remember, and celebrate a life. Whether you’re planning for the future or coping with a loss today, take each step at your own pace, and don’t hesitate to reach out to professionals or trusted loved ones for support.
June 30, 2025
Have you ever been caught up in the moment and paid more for something than you planned? We’ve all been there. Maybe it was the new car after you got that promotion, the newly-released cell phone, or the upgraded cable/internet package that they talked you into when you called to cancel your service. When a death occurs, there is often so much to think about and so many decisions to be made, that it can be hard to be sure you are making the right choices. Sometimes this can lead to spending more than you normally would. Planning ahead lets you to calmly and carefully consider all of your choices, selecting only the products and services that you desire. Our experienced staff of preplanning professionals can explain all of your options, so you can make the choices that are right for you and your family. During the preplanning process, you will design the funeral service that you want, and arrange all the details, such as location, minister or celebrant, songs to be played, people to be recognized in your obituary, etc. This will take the burden of decision-making off of your loved ones, and give them peace of mind knowing that the service was exactly what you wanted. We will provide you with a clear, itemized list of services and merchandise, which will serve as a road map for your survivors to follow. You can set aside funds to pay for the arrangements in advance through the purchase of a funeral insurance policy. Life insurance policy funds can also be allocated to pay for funeral expenses, at the discretion of your beneficiary. Planning ahead allows you to fully consider all your choices, and avoid emotional overspending, so if you'd like to learn more, please give us a call.
June 16, 2025
“We travel, initially, to lose ourselves; and we travel, next to find ourselves.” – Pico Iyer Traveling can provide an insightful perspective into your life, but when you're grieving, that perspective often widens into something much more. Grief can be isolating and lonely. Traveling can serve as a reminder to yourself that there is a whole world out there outside of the walls of your home and familiar places that may remind you of your loss. A vacation may be the last thing on your mind. However, it can aid in your grieving journey by not forgetting that you are grieving but making it easier to remember good times with your loved one. We’ve come up with four ideal vacations to consider to enrich your heart and soul, melt away stress and have a deeply rejuvenating and meaningful adventure. The Cruise Vacation Being away at sea can be healing for grieving on both an emotional and health level. Nothing says adventure like booking a voyage and being whisked away on a ship to forget about real life for a week or so. On a cruise, you’ll be waited on hand and foot and have access to food around the clock, on board entertainment and an environment of elegance and fun. Plenty of sunshine gives your body a Vitamin D dose, which boosts the immune system and offers natural anti-depressants from positive endorphins. Fresh ocean water also produces positive mental function and respiratory health. As a big plus, there are cruise packages for every budget. You can book anything from a quick 3-day cruise to Mexico or the Caribbean, to a 14-day Alaskan or Mediterranean voyage. The Therapeutic Vacation While there is a time for adventure, for some the grieving journey calls for complete relaxation. In this case, an all-inclusive resort package in a tropical location may work wonders. Perhaps a more budget-friendly option is a getaway to a cabin or bed and breakfast? Many people choose to book stays specializing in therapeutic relaxation and spa treatments. All of these are awesome options if you want to lower the cortisol levels in your body and enjoy the soothing relaxation of treating yourself. In the United States, locations like Colorado Springs, Colorado, and Asheville, North Carolina can offer plenty of rest and relaxation. If you’re thinking of adding stamps to your passport, the Icelandic or Irish countryside can rejuvenate you. The Physical Activity Vacation Many people choose to grieve by engulfing themselves into rigorous physical activity. This is a great way to de-stress while improving your health and adding years to your life. Some people might choose vacations with world-class fitness centers or challenges, while others prefer to embark on natural physical challenges including climbs, hikes, and trails. Climbing Japan’s Mt. Fuji not only to physically exert yourself but also to boost your emotional health through confronting and conquering a challenge. You’ll have stories for life when you decide to explore natural rainforests or go kayaking through British Columbia or New Zealand. The Sight-Seeing Vacation Taking in breathtaking monuments, structures or natural wonders do a lot to expand your horizons and touch your emotions. These vacations work to put life and the world into perspective, which is essential in any grief journey. There are countless sights and landmarks to see. A trip to check out the Grand Canyon, Eiffel Tower, New York Skyscrapers, Swiss Alps, Great Wall of China, Pyramids of Africa and the list goes on. You can’t go wrong with any of these vacations. Comb through them to see which touch your heart and fill needs that will help your mental, physical and spiritual health.
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