Insights into helping a loved one preplan

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From personal experience, we share some thoughts about accompanying a loved one through the process of making funeral or cremation arrangements ahead of time.

Through preplanning, your loved one will make decisions about the types of service they want you to hold in their honor after they are gone, and create a written record of their choices. This will serve as a plan for you to follow when the time comes. Preplanning brings great peace of mind when it is completed, but can be intimidating to start. Here’s what we learned when accompanying a loved one through preplanning.

Expect all of the feelings. There’s no way around it; emotions are going to surface as you accompany a loved one who is preplanning. A desire to keep them with you forever and not think about the time when you will say a final goodbye to them is completely normal and natural. But the reality is, when that time comes, you will be incredibly grateful that it was all planned out ahead of time and you knew what to expect. There will be enough to manage at the time, emotionally, financially and relationally with your remaining family that you will be relieved to not have to make all these decisions as well. Give yourself and your loved one time and space to work through the emotions, and remember that while it is difficult, simply being there for them as they make their plans is a true gift – for you both.

It is a balance. Preplanning arrangements are a balance of what your loved one wants for themselves, and what they want for you. While they will not be present when their plans are carried out, and could be tempted to say “Well, I won’t be there to care”, most people will want to know that their services will be as easy as possible on their family members. They might also want your reassurance and support for their choices, so it’s okay to express your own opinions, as long as the final choices are your loved one’s.

There will be surprises. Your loved one will probably make decisions that surprise you. Whether it is the type of service they want, firm ideas about what they do NOT want, or the selection of things like music, an urn, or flowers, chances are very good that they will make choices that are different than the ones you would have made at the time of need. This is great because it means that they are doing what is uniquely right for them.

You will learn a lot. No matter how close you are to your loved one, you will learn more about them when you walk with them through preplanning. Whether it is the choices they make, the stories they share, or simply the experience of working through such a personal matter, you may feel even closer to them than before.

Sharing with others is an important step. Supporting your loved one as they share their plan and decisions with other family members is important. It may be hard for them to introduce the topic, because when is really a “good” time to talk about one’s death? They might want you to help them share the information with other family members. But once the discussions are had and everyone knows what to expect, it will be a true relief.

A few last thoughts. First, while a written plan is wonderful, having everything paid for is even better. The funeral home staff member that you meet with will be able to explain payment options so your loved one can decide how to handle the financial aspects. Second, after the appointment, you will both need a break from the heavy topic, so consider taking them out to lunch! And finally, and perhaps most importantly, by the end of the process, your dominant feeling, and your loved one’s, will almost certainly be relief and peace of mind.

We truly understand that this process is intimidating, and it can be hard to get started. But our preplanning associates are always here to help, with no pressure. Please give us a call today if you or a loved one need to take the first step towards peace of mind.

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End-of-Life Planning Checklist: Documents Every Family Should Have

By Funeral Home • July 23, 2026

A practical checklist of essential end-of-life legal, financial, and final wishes documents every family should organize to bring peace of mind.

End-of-Life Planning Checklist: Documents Every Family Should Have

By Funeral Home • July 23, 2026

A practical checklist of essential end-of-life legal, financial, and final wishes documents every family should organize to bring peace of mind.

Frequently Asked Questions About Planning a Funeral

June 22, 2026

What are the first steps when a loved one passes away? The first step is to notify the proper authorities. If your loved one passes at home, you’ll need to contact emergency services. If the passing occurs in a hospital or care facility, staff will guide you through the next steps. Once this has been done, you can contact a funeral home. Our team is available to help you begin arrangements and coordinate transportation of your loved one into our care. Do I need to plan the funeral right away? While some decisions need to be made relatively quickly, you do not have to finalize every detail immediately. We will help you prioritize what needs to be handled first and give you time to consider the more personal elements of the service. What types of funeral services are available? There are several options available depending on your preferences, beliefs, and budget. These may include: Traditional funeral services with a viewing and burial Memorial services (held after burial or cremation) Graveside services Celebration of life Cremation services with or without a formal ceremony We are here to help you create a meaningful service that reflects your loved one’s life. How much does a funeral cost? Funeral costs can vary widely depending on the services and options selected. Factors that may influence cost include: Burial or cremation choice Casket or urn selection Venue and staffing Transportation Printed materials and flowers We are committed to transparency and will walk you through all options to help you make decisions that align with your needs and budget. Can I personalize the service? Absolutely. Personalization is one of the most meaningful parts of a funeral service. Families often include: Favorite music or readings Photo displays or memory tables Video tributes Special themes or colors Cultural or religious traditions Our goal is to help you create a service that truly reflects your loved one’s personality and legacy. What should I bring to the arrangement meeting? It’s helpful to bring: A recent photo of your loved one Clothing for burial or cremation Personal information (full name, date of birth, Social Security number, etc.) Military discharge papers (if applicable) Preplanning documents (if arrangements were made in advance) Don’t worry if you don’t have everything—we can guide you through what’s needed. What is preplanning and is it necessary? Preplanning allows individuals to make their own funeral arrangements in advance. While it is not required, it can ease the burden on loved ones and ensure that personal wishes are honored. Many families find comfort in knowing these decisions have already been made. What happens after the service? After the service, we continue to support families by: Assisting with necessary paperwork Providing grief resources Helping coordinate burial or cremation follow-up Offering guidance on memorialization options Our care does not end after the service—we are here for you in the days and months that follow. We’re Here to Help Planning a funeral is never easy, but you don’t have to do it alone. Our compassionate team is here to answer your questions, guide you through each step, and help you create a meaningful tribute for your loved one. If you have additional questions or would like to begin planning, please don’t hesitate to reach out.

What is a Celebration of Life, and How Is It Different?

April 13, 2026

In recent years, the phrase “celebration of life” has become more common when families are planning services for a loved one. While many people have heard the term, there can still be confusion about what it truly means and how it differs from a traditional funeral. At its heart, a celebration of life is not about replacing tradition, but about offering a more flexible, personalized way to honor and remember a life. A celebration of life is a personalized service that focuses on honoring the unique story, personality, and legacy of the individual who has passed. While it can be held in a variety of locations, many families choose to gather in the comfort of a funeral home chapel, where they have both guidance and the ability to customize the experience. These services most often take place after cremation, which allows families more time to plan and create a meaningful tribute. However, every family’s preferences are different, and services can be arranged in whatever way feels most appropriate. No two celebrations of life are exactly the same, because no two lives are the same. One of the most meaningful aspects of a celebration of life is the ability to incorporate personal touches that reflect the life being honored, even within a chapel setting. Families may choose to include themed elements that represent a loved one’s passions, hobbies, or personality. This could be as simple as displaying favorite photos and memorabilia, or as unique as incorporating colors, music, or décor that reflect what they loved most in life. Memory tables, tribute videos, and customized music selections can all be seamlessly incorporated into a chapel service. Some families also invite guests to participate by sharing stories or bringing items that hold special meaning. This blend of personalization within a supportive, structured environment often provides both comfort and creativity during a difficult time. A celebration of life offers families the opportunity to gather in a familiar, supportive setting while creating a service that truly reflects their loved one. By combining the comfort of a chapel with the flexibility of personalization, it becomes a meaningful way to honor a life and share memories with those who matter most. There is no right or wrong way to plan a service. The most important thing is creating a space that feels genuine, supportive, and reflective of the person being remembered.