Helen R. McCary

Schenectady - Mary Helen Rucker McCary died on Thursday July 17, surrounded by family.

Helen was born in 1926, in Denton, Texas, to George Rucker and Kennie Dazey Holt Rucker. Her father died not long after her birth; because Helen was a sickly child not expected to live long, the doctors told her mother to take her home and let her enjoy what life she might have by allowing her to eat whatever she wanted. That saved her life: Although it was not diagnosed until she was in her early 30s, Helen had celiac disease; because her family didn’t make her eat the bread, cake, and biscuits she disliked, she lived.

She adored Ruby Keeler as a child, loved to roller-skate, and liked the word “gumption.” Her mother taught school to support them, and they lived with her grandparents, Irby Bennett Holt and Allie Lay Holt, who provided care for Helen when Kennie was at work. Kennie had to take continuing education courses to maintain her teaching certification, so she traveled in the summers with other female teachers, and they took Helen with them. Through this experience Helen gained, at an early age, exposure to many places, and a deeper understanding and love of U.S. and world history. Later, Helen and Kennie lived during the school year in nearby Kilgore Texas, where Kennie was Dean of Girls at Kilgore High School, and there Helen met and fell in love with Richard Oscar McCary, whom she married in 1947. She aspired to be a housewife and mother par excellence, and succeeded—using her Bachelor of Business Administration degree to administer the household. Having been raised as an only child by a widowed mother, she delighted not only in raising her own four children but in discovering a much larger extended family later in life. She believed with conviction, and was comfortable when her views departed from orthodoxy or the accepted wisdom of the time.

She, Richard, and their children were long-time congregants of First Reformed Church of Schenectady, where for 25 years she sang in the Chancel Choir, and helped lead the adult bible class. A life-long friend of theatre, especially community theater, she was an active subscriber to the Schenectady Civic Players, where she volunteered in the box office. In 1978, when the restoration of Proctors Theatre was begun, she, Richard, and children Brian and Eileen were actively engaged in that work. Helen was also a consistent booster of downtown Schenectady, Literacy Volunteers of America, the Onrust Project, and much else in the area.

Helen loved to cook; once her medical problem had been identified, she joyed in finding recipes that she could eat with her family. An avid gardener, she found relaxation and fulfillment caring for her yard. She also loved to sew and do craft projects, and she traveled, danced, read and talked with Richard throughout their 54 years together. She and Richard enjoyed square-dancing, and were for many years members of the Helderberg Twirlers square dancing club. She restarted roller skating, then roller dancing, in her 50s, recapturing the magic feelings of her youth. She and the family also enjoyed canoeing and cross-country skiing.

A loving daughter and wife, beloved mother and grandmother, friend to many, and enthusiastic citizen of Niskayuna and Schenectady, Helen was kind, optimistic, open, caring, and strong. She made friends in any group she was a part of; in any community she joined, or endeavor she started, she engaged fully, contributed actively and left it better than she found it. In her quiet way, she impacted lives of countless people and was loved and respected by all who met her. She was preceded in death by Richard, and their eldest daughter Sharon. She is survived by children Brian (Faye) McCary, Eileen McCary Terrell, and Kathryn McCary, and by grandchildren Scott McCary and Rachel Camille Eickelman (Anthony). She will be missed, but not forgotten.

A memorial gathering will be held at Jones Funeral Home 2020 Central Avenue in Colonie on July 31 at 5:30-6:30; another will be held, on a date to be announced, in Texas when her ashes are laid to rest next to Richard’s. Memorial contributions may be made to Proctors Theatre https://www.atproctors.org/ or the Schenectady Civic Players https://www.civicplayers.org/. To leave a message of condolence for the family visit www.jonesfuneralny.com